I picked up an iPhone today. I took it from a sweater-vest-wearing sissy outside an Apple store. Like taking candy from a baby. He even cried. The two broken arms may have caused the crying, but he was still a sissy.
I can’t say I’m impressed. There’s no coverage in any of the planes of Hell. R’lyeh only has EDGE and Great Old Ones Wireless has worse plans than Rogers. At least Rogers stops short of demanding your soul.
I was hoping the GPS and Google Maps would help in R’lyeh, but no such luck. I keep falling up the stairs.
Hastur set me up on a blind date with Cthulhu’s sister. Bastard.
I wanted to see Hellboy 2. She wanted a romantic dinner. We compromised. She ate everybody in the theater. I couldn’t make out what was happening on-screen with all the screaming and flying viscera.
While she wasn’t looking, I text messaged Baphomet to save me. He summoned me out of there on the pretext of “collecting my soul”. I think she fell for it.
Hastur’s getting a flaming bag of poo on his doorstep tonight.
I have to admire dentists. Not only do they get to inflict pain on hapless souls, those same hapless souls pay them for it. What a great life.
I really have to rent Marathon Man.
So Dr. Horrible blogs. Big deal. All the villains do it these days. Especially those modern techno-villains with all their gadgets. In my day we had to channel pure evil through our fingers. That’s not good for a nice pair of gloves, let me tell you.
What kind of villain has a Backyardigan as an arch-nemesis anyway? I suspect Dr. Shrinky and Yucky Man are a bit put out.